February 26th

February 26th
I want to go on with this. I don’t want it to end. This has brought me so much life, I don’t want to give it up.
I don’t want to go back to “everything you do should have a meaning and a purpose and be profitable if it’s going to have God’s blessing on it.”

I had slid into a mindset – been conned into a mindset! – that said if I was just doing something for me and the joy of doing it…well, that was okay for a little bit of time, but it was just a stopgap thing, a pause until I got back into the game. It was like you sort of tolerated it Jesus, were willing to wait until I’d finished (as long as I didn’t spend too long over it) but it wasn’t a real thing to be doing.

It wasn’t a place where I would meet you in deep intimacy.

But it is.

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