February 15th

February 15th
Drawing little trees – and, over and over again, having to invite Jesus in. I shut you out so easily in this area of my life! I don’t do it when I’m listening to others. I invite you in, open all the doors and they stay open. I long to hear you, to show you, to bring you to others because you are their answer. Why am I having to open and re-open the doors here?

Is it because it’s all about coping? What I realised today was that all anyone wants – wanted – me to do with my grief was cope with it. In so many arenas.
Starting at the outside and working in…
Work. Work just wants you to cope, to function properly. Whether it’s paid work in an institution of some sort or whether it’s just household tasks, the demand is the same: Get the job done.
And church-the-institution is actually the same, though a bit gentler. But the demand for you to function is still there.
People? Well, that covers a broad range. There’s the “Please cope because I certainly don’t know how to handle your grief” at one end of the spectrum. But at totally the other end, there’s the people who love you so much that they can’t bear to see the hurt you’re suffering. They want you to be better, because they care and long to see you whole again.
Which leaves me with: what are you saying, Jesus? What do you say into our grief? When the message from nearly everyone else is: Please cope with this? How do I hear what you are saying to me over the noise of “Please cope”?

How do I know that wasn't - isn't - what you're saying?

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