February 14th
February 14th
I didn’t have two hours free yesterday, and that’s fine. I knew there would be some days when I would only have a little time, but looking to find the two hours if I can has made me realise that – at this point in my life – I do have time to spare.
Time is a bit like money, isn’t it? Sometimes it’s genuinely in short supply and I have to stretch it round everything carefully. But sometimes it can be a currency I’m just frittering away. And sometimes I’m supposed to be saving it up and not spending it. I think that’s called rest.
I played Anno 1404, and I played it as a bit of a wind-down after a full day. And I’ve played it as a coping strategy before now, and what it made me realise was that coping strategies shut out…everything, really.
But especially relationships. Especially people. The wife who copes with her husband’s angry moods (this is not me! He’s the one I would marry all over again in a heartbeat!) or the husband who copes with his wife’s controlling personality (also not me. Apart from how the mugs are arranged), they’re holding that person at arm’s length. I’ll cope with you, accommodate you. I won’t risk getting hurt by challenging you, by loving you enough to help you find the deep hurts behind your behaviour.
And when I go to coping strategies to help me cope with myself, who do I shut out? You, Jesus, you. That’s who, isn’t it? This is why coping is a sin, because it shuts you out. And when the enemy sells me the lie that you want me to cope…
It’s hard getting out of that habit. And hard to believe that that’s not the truth. There are deep wounds to heal and big agreements to break – and new truths to discover.
Time is a bit like money, isn’t it? Sometimes it’s genuinely in short supply and I have to stretch it round everything carefully. But sometimes it can be a currency I’m just frittering away. And sometimes I’m supposed to be saving it up and not spending it. I think that’s called rest.
I played Anno 1404, and I played it as a bit of a wind-down after a full day. And I’ve played it as a coping strategy before now, and what it made me realise was that coping strategies shut out…everything, really.
But especially relationships. Especially people. The wife who copes with her husband’s angry moods (this is not me! He’s the one I would marry all over again in a heartbeat!) or the husband who copes with his wife’s controlling personality (also not me. Apart from how the mugs are arranged), they’re holding that person at arm’s length. I’ll cope with you, accommodate you. I won’t risk getting hurt by challenging you, by loving you enough to help you find the deep hurts behind your behaviour.
And when I go to coping strategies to help me cope with myself, who do I shut out? You, Jesus, you. That’s who, isn’t it? This is why coping is a sin, because it shuts you out. And when the enemy sells me the lie that you want me to cope…
It’s hard getting out of that habit. And hard to believe that that’s not the truth. There are deep wounds to heal and big agreements to break – and new truths to discover.
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