February 13th
February 13th
There is no one-size-fits-all. No two landscapes are identical. Sure, they have the same components – rocks, earth, plants, water…but no two landscapes are the same. So there can’t be a “This is how you do it: follow these rules” manual for the spiritual landscape either. We each walk different ones.
Which sort of begs the question: Why do we make up rules about it?
Why do we prefer law to freedom?
Because…Because: if I Get It Right, then you’ll…Like me? Love me? Reward me? Protect me from getting hurt?
And if I get hurt, if things don’t work out well, if there is tragedy and loss and heartbreak? Then I must have failed to Get It Right, mustn’t I?
I want to believe that I have some control, that I can influence the outcome. But when I try my hardest, and the outcome is a disaster, that leaves me asking hard questions. Or swallowing devastating lies: God didn’t care enough to come through for me in this one.
I suspect, if I was a man, it would be “I didn’t have what it takes.” But I’m a woman, so it’s all about relationship, and it comes down to “I thought you loved me.”
And the unhelpful answer is always, “Of course God loves you, but…”
And the answers you are giving me, Jesus?
“I do love you. Full stop.”
“Life is not Newtonian, it’s quantum.”
“The story is still being written.”
None of which tell me How To Get It Right. In fact, they strongly suggest that Getting It Right isn’t actually possible…
There is no one-size-fits-all. No two landscapes are identical. Sure, they have the same components – rocks, earth, plants, water…but no two landscapes are the same. So there can’t be a “This is how you do it: follow these rules” manual for the spiritual landscape either. We each walk different ones.
Which sort of begs the question: Why do we make up rules about it?
Why do we prefer law to freedom?
Because…Because: if I Get It Right, then you’ll…Like me? Love me? Reward me? Protect me from getting hurt?
And if I get hurt, if things don’t work out well, if there is tragedy and loss and heartbreak? Then I must have failed to Get It Right, mustn’t I?
I want to believe that I have some control, that I can influence the outcome. But when I try my hardest, and the outcome is a disaster, that leaves me asking hard questions. Or swallowing devastating lies: God didn’t care enough to come through for me in this one.
I suspect, if I was a man, it would be “I didn’t have what it takes.” But I’m a woman, so it’s all about relationship, and it comes down to “I thought you loved me.”
And the unhelpful answer is always, “Of course God loves you, but…”
And the answers you are giving me, Jesus?
“I do love you. Full stop.”
“Life is not Newtonian, it’s quantum.”
“The story is still being written.”
None of which tell me How To Get It Right. In fact, they strongly suggest that Getting It Right isn’t actually possible…
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