February 10th

February 10th
I didn’t get much sewing done yesterday. This is it. And here’s why.

“You will have cut out 4 pieces…” say the instructions. No, I haven’t. I’ve only cut out two. I don’t have what it takes to make this garment up.

I don’t have what it takes. But I’m supposed to be able to cope with anything life throws at me. Isn’t that the definition of Being A Good Christian?
Never being weak, never being needy, never failing, always having read the instructions properly and cut every piece out in advance.

I have some spare fabric. I can cut the extra pieces. But shouldn’t I have been prepared in advance? Shouldn’t I be prepped and ready for every eventuality?
In fact, let’s go a bit further. Shouldn’t I be able to foresee every eventuality? And if I can’t, I’ve failed?
Oh, and by the way, I don’t need you, Jesus. It’s all down to me. All the foresight, all the preparation, all the resources: I have to do it all.
Hmmmm.
“I’m supposed to be able to cope” doesn’t actually sound too clever when I think it through.
So why do I believe it? And why do I believe it’s what you want from me, Jesus?

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